It really surprised me to learn the BBT (Basal Body Temperature) was a big internet search term for women trying to conceive. If you have been doing that, I’m so sorry. I did it everyday for three months. I got up very early in the morning and did not move. I reached carefully for my thermometer, took my temperature and then charted it on a graph. It was suppose to help me chart my ovulation so that my husband and I could better time intercourse for baby making. You were not allowed to move before you took your temperature. You couldn’t have coffee, or go to the bathroom or do your morning yoga!
Taking my temperature every morning disrupted my morning joyful rituals. Not only that, it reminded me every day that I was struggling with fertility. Every morning the first thing that I had to think about was that I was failing at conception. It made me sad and made me feel like a failure. Great way to kick start anyone’s day! I hated it more than the bigger, more expensive and invasive treatments that I had to do later on. I think it was the constant reminder of infertility, first thing in the morning that really killed me.
When I went to see my first reproductive specialist, it was after months of BBT torture. I presented my pages upon pages of BBT graphs to my doctor and he told me that I could throw those out. He explained to me as sweetly as he could, that BBT was only good for telling you that ovulation has occurred. It was actually pretty worthless for trying to predict ovulation and timing intercourse. It was such a relief to have that yoke taken off from around my neck. Now I could just wake up like a normal person and have coffee.
It was delicious to have a break from something I was so tied to in my commitment to baby making. What are you doing every day that you would love to take a break from? Perhaps you have stopped drinking coffee completely or wine. Maybe you used to love to run, but you don’t do it anymore. Sometimes, it’s good to let go of that direct connection to the grind of baby making. Maybe take a few days off and have that coffee. Go for a great big run. It won’t ruin anything. And you might find that not thinking about baby making every once in a while and returning to some of your old joyful habits is amazing, restorative and healing.
|Pamela Madsen was the first Executive Director of RESOLVE NYC and is the Founder of The American Fertility Association. Pamela is an internationally known fertility advocate who has appeared on Oprah and countless other major media outlets. Currently, Pamela is a fertility coach and publisher of The Fertility Advocate. She is also a blogger for Psychology Today and SpermCheck Fertility.|