Barack Obama was just re-elected president. I find myself looking at the man and how he has changed physically in his second term. He now has gray hair. I wonder about his children growing up in the glaring light of the White House. He is America’s first African American President. It is quite an achievement. I wonder about the toll. I wonder if it is all worth it for him and his family in the end. I hope so. And I am betting that it is.
Great achievements often have a big price tag attached to them. Like trying to have a baby when it’s not happening quite so easily.
I have been a fertility advocate for 20 years, and one of the biggest deep sighs I hear sounds like this, “I hope that all of this will be worth it.”
Now, some of my clients may be talking about the cost of fertility treatment, but most of them are really speaking to the emotional cost of trying to conceive. The financial cost of infertility and our wallets somehow often manages to work itself out through financing plans, health insurance that pays for this or that, and doctors who have created their own financing programs.
It’s really the emotional toll that can be so wearing on people trying to have baby.
I know because I went through it, and I have held the hands of countless couples going through this. And what I can tell you is that it is worth all of it. Success rates in the United States are very good, and with some luck and persistence – pregnancy happens. More marriages get closer than break apart. People find that they can often see their way through so many challenges and actually grow from the experience.
I have asked my fertility coaching couples the same question over and over again: “Was it all worth it?” And the answer is always the same. “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”
|Pamela Madsen was the first Executive Director of RESOLVE NYC and is the Founder of The American Fertility Association. Pamela is an internationally known fertility advocate who has appeared on Oprah and countless other major media outlets. Currently, Pamela is a fertility coach and publisher of The Fertility Advocate. She is also a blogger for Psychology Today and SpermCheck Fertility.|