So many of us do too many things every single day. When we decide that we want to start baby planning, and it just doesn’t happen, it can feel overwhelming. When trying to have a baby becomes “one more thing to do” or “one more thing to research”, we can feel overloaded and overwhelmed. Often times, when conception does not happen right away, our minds race to the worst possible outcome, and we find ourselves on the internet researching every kind of infertility treatment that has ever been invented. It’s enough to make anyone overload, especially on top of what you may already be doing in your daily lives.
Start small. Reach for easy answers first. Are you timing intercourse correctly? Have you made the right lifestyle choices? Have you checked your sperm counts and ovulation through the easy to do and accessible over the counter fertility tests? If the answer is yes, and it’s time to make room for infertility treatments, you may feel your pulse start to race. Perfectly normal. Now is the time to reduce your schedule and “to do” list.
We have to make room for baby making. Take a look at your life. Is there something that you can take away while you are putting in “baby making”? Can you step down for a while from some of your volunteer activities? Or not volunteer for more? Don’t try to make it all work as before. It won’t. Pretending that you have all the time in the world in each day simply isn’t true. Pretending that trying to have a baby isn’t stressful also simply isn’t true. Allow yourself to acknowledge all of this.
So, slow down. Your reward will be less stress and less confusion. Let go of being the one who has to do everything. Practice the word “No”. Try letting go of multi-tasking! Do one thing at a time. When you are trying to make a baby, you may need to give it your undivided attention.
This is all about finding balance and making room so that you don’t feel completely overwhelmed by adding in more. Take a look at your life with your partner. What can you let go of so that you can make room for making a baby?
|Pamela Madsen was the first Executive Director of RESOLVE NYC and is the Founder of The American Fertility Association. Pamela is an internationally known fertility advocate who has appeared on Oprah and countless other major media outlets. Currently, Pamela is a fertility coach and publisher of The Fertility Advocate. She is also a blogger for Psychology Today and SpermCheck Fertility.|